0N3 R3A50N WHY.

I have one reason why I ever cut. Not thirteen.

One reason only.

Punishment for eating.

When I'm a bad girl and binge, that's my physical punishment. Binge, feel the sting on my inner thigh where the blood is flowing. Hope the stain doesn't soak through my jeans.

I've been clean since October, but I nearly cut today.

Then, standing in the shower with the razor in my hand, I remembered why I haven't cut since that day months ago.

I have a million reasons why not, but only one can convince me.

0N3 R3A50N WHY.

I know that the moment I shed my own blood, I am not stable enough to stay at Hogwarts. I'm screwed up and just need to go home and get help.

RAZORBLADE by Matthew Mayfield

The sunrise

the black tide's

rolling in from the cutter's night.

A heart beat

a mystery

of five fingers cradling

a new pain

a stiff vein.

It's blood red in the pouring rain.

I can't feel

the cold steal

peel the skin back and break the seal.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay."

Well you tell them everything they wanna hear.

This new fire

in my veins:

it's too quiet,

and I can't explain

the white pills

the fake kills.

The screams return and fire at will.

You break down and silence the phone.

you bite down when no ones at home.

It's okay to not want to die alone,

cause neither does anyone.

It's too late to crawl off and miss this.

I'm so tired of razor blade kisses.

My chest gets the best of the carving line,

freedom at any time.

There's no fear,

no boundary lines,

no questions.

No one to fight,

no answers,

no coming back this time.

Seal it and let it fly.

God, will you take this away

on your back? Carry some weight

of a bloody fist

a slit of the wrist?

You get this

freedom from anyone

The cold metal back of my throat

bite down for the final show

where you cock it back

and pull it fast

to get past

you don't need anyone

you don't need anyone...

It's okay,

it's okay,

it's okay......