I don't fear having my heart broken... I fear that I will one day be the heart-breaker.
Because my attitude is so passive: "Meh, whatever. Go with the flow. This guy wants to be friends? Cool. He wants us to hang out alone? Sure. He wants to take me to the dance? Sweet; I have a boyfriend now."
And then one day, someone might ask us why we're together....
He'll list all the reasons that I'm so wonderful and charming.
And I'll just shrug and say, "Why not?" because I never actually cared enough about our relationship to ask myself that question before.
That's when I'll realize that he's too good for me... He'll be completely dedicated to me, hanging on my every word, smiling just because I'm smiling, bending over backwards to make me happy, etc., etc... Yet I'll just be going along with whatever he's doing because I've always been a people-pleaser. I never want to say no, but it's only for selfish reasons: because I fear letting anyone down--which would make me a failure.
I will not be dating him because I want to make him happy or because I love him, but because I just want to take the road of least resistance.
Do you see how selfish that is? I do.
I will one day be a heart-breaker...
...unless I change my ways.
God, please help me change.
Because my attitude is so passive: "Meh, whatever. Go with the flow. This guy wants to be friends? Cool. He wants us to hang out alone? Sure. He wants to take me to the dance? Sweet; I have a boyfriend now."
And then one day, someone might ask us why we're together....
He'll list all the reasons that I'm so wonderful and charming.
And I'll just shrug and say, "Why not?" because I never actually cared enough about our relationship to ask myself that question before.
That's when I'll realize that he's too good for me... He'll be completely dedicated to me, hanging on my every word, smiling just because I'm smiling, bending over backwards to make me happy, etc., etc... Yet I'll just be going along with whatever he's doing because I've always been a people-pleaser. I never want to say no, but it's only for selfish reasons: because I fear letting anyone down--which would make me a failure.
I will not be dating him because I want to make him happy or because I love him, but because I just want to take the road of least resistance.
Do you see how selfish that is? I do.
I will one day be a heart-breaker...
...unless I change my ways.
God, please help me change.
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